It's so easy to let the demands of family, work, friends, and other commitments take precedence in your life. For example, time for working out may get replaced by the need to chauffeur your kids to and from their scout meetings and dance classes. Or time for preparing healthy meals may get supplanted by a work project that requires extra hours — leading to more last-minute trips to the drive-through.
While shortchanging ourselves and our goals to meet the needs of others often seems like the right thing to do, it isn't a good long-term strategy. Eventually, without your own needs being met, you get depleted — and when you're empty, you can't fill up anyone else. Making yourself a priority isn't selfish — it's necessary to keep you from burning out and becoming ineffective.
One of the best ways to safeguard time for yourself is to learn to set limits. That might mean turning down other people's requests for your time. Saying no can be difficult at first — we all want to please the people we love or the people we work for — but it's a necessary skill. Rather than immediately saying yes, you could consider "let me think about how I can participate and get back to you." Then, rather than take on the whole job, you could take a piece of it. "I can work with the caterer if you can find someone to handle renting the tables and chairs."
Even in situations in which you don't feel you can say no, there may be room for compromise. You may not want to keep your kids from doing the activities they love, but that doesn't mean you have to be the one to drive them back and forth each day. Perhaps you can organize a carpooling system so that you can share the responsibility with other parents. And of course, saying no to a work project may not be the best idea for your career, but you could talk to your boss about your needs and ask for some control in scheduling those extra hours.
This week, spend some time this week writing in your journal about ways you can put yourself first. It's good for you — and good for everyone who depends on you.
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