What's Your Communication Style?

When you communicate with others, what's your style: aggressive, passive, or assertive? All styles of communication are useful in certain situations, but using any one style at the wrong time or overusing it can cause problems. See the descriptions below to determine whether one of these styles is your primary method for communicating:

Aggressive style: You tend to believe that you know best. You often feel that you need to "stand your ground" against the opinions of others. You may not understand other people's feelings or may not think that they are as important as your own, and you may expect others to know what you need or want. You often feel emotionally isolated or cut off from others.

Passive style: You avoid conflict at all costs, and you have trouble asserting your point of view. You may believe or act as if other people's feelings are more important than yours. You may downplay what you really think or feel, pretending that it isn't important even when you believe it is. You often feel taken advantage of and have a hard time saying no to others. You may feel anger at someone, but find it difficult to express your anger or confront the person directly.

Assertive style: You demonstrate an understanding of the needs, wishes, feelings, thoughts, desires, and opinions of others while being able to state your own views and opinions in a healthy, respectful manner. You can empathize with what another person is feeling without giving up your own opinions and beliefs. You feel comfortable communicating how you feel, and can do so in a way that builds respect and trust and fosters cooperation. You feel understood, and you feel you can understand others.

The way we communicate with our spouses, family, friends, and coworkers can play a big role in our efforts to get healthy. If you communicate too aggressively, you may be missing out on valuable input and support from others. If you communicate too passively, you may not be able to put your needs on an equal footing with the needs of others.

Often, the best approach to communication is an assertive one. This week, analyze your communication style and think about how it may be affecting your weight-management goals. Strive for a healthy, assertive style when appropriate, and try to break communication habits that aren't working for you.